Have you ever had this feeling that your child is not receiving the attention that he/she is not getting in a class or a program? Or that your child constantly complains that coach doesn’t care about him/her? Or that the coach only cares about a certain player?
OK, I’m not going to lie. Yes, favoritism does exist. It is in every sport and in non-sport events aka life. Favoritism exists everywhere in the world. The question is not IF there is favoritism but to explore strategies to help put your child on the pedestal.
Here is the good news. There are things that you can do to put you in the driver’s seat. The reason I say “you” is because I have seen the mistakes parents made in their method of finding solutions for this predicament. There are more productive ways which I am going to share with you over the next several weeks with one strategy per week.
There are 5 simple strategies that when implemented regularly is a life-changing experience for your child in his/her tennis journey. These strategies are the results accumulated from my 40 plus years experience in tennis.
“Start where you are. Use what you have. Do what you can.” – Arthur Ashe
Strategy #1 – Player Accountability
At the beginning of the player/coach relationship, emotions are high with excitement. The program is great. Coach is a miracle worker. Kid is smiling from ear to ear. The line of communication is usually free-flowing. As time goes on though, when the “honeymoon” phase fades aways, judging and criticisms creep in: the coach was mean to me today; or the coach didn’t help me today; or I had to play with the little kids; or I was put on the lowest court today…
Whether the coach is going to take your child wholeheartedly going the extra mile OR keeping a distance just doing their job, depends on how you, the parent, react when your child gives you the report from his/her perception. It is important to remember that the recalling of their day is based on their perception. Whether it was accurate or dramatized, it’s irrelevant. What’s important here is how you react.
If you guide your child with strengths and grit to overcome obstacles they will learn to fight to be at their rightful place because mom and dad are not fighting their battles for them. You are helping them to be accountable for their own effort in their training.
Coaches value strength and the player’s willingness to fight for their rights. It takes courage and strength to take responsibility for one’s action.
Good luck this week. Will see you at my next post – Strategy #2: The Training Environment